“Embrace the person you are becoming. Don’t dwell on the past. Clinging to previous versions of yourself will keep you stuck.” UNKNOWN
I belong to several Facebook groups for women of a particular age if you know what I mean. We share pictures of where we live and ask questions about make-up, to color or not to color our hair, you know girl talk stuff. A theme I have noticed is a lot of women who have retired have no idea what to do with themselves now that they do not have the social connections that their workplace gave them. So, let’s talk about that.
The first thing I did, even before I retired is I set my intentions of what I wanted my life as a retired woman to look like. I devoted a lot of daydreaming to this topic. For me staying connected to friends was very important as well as being available to help my son and daughter-in-law with my 10-year-old granddaughter. I offered to be of service to them by taking my granddaughter to school and picking her up 4 days a week. Having a boundary was important to me so I would not feel taken advantage of and it let them know I had a life other than that of a Grammy Nanny.
My daydreams took me on adventures that I would put on a “Places I Want To Go and Places I Want To See” list. They say if you don’t write a goal down it just won’t happen. Going out of town in the middle of the week just seemed decadent to me! I felt giddy with excitement at the thought of going places on a weekday!
One of the things I realized after a couple of months was that I could not just sit at home waiting for a friend to invite me to do something, I had to reach out and be the inviter. After all my friends who were already retired are not used to me being available for weekday outings so If it’s to be it is up to me. There have been several people who have unexpectantly reached out to me completely out of the blue. I felt so included and special afterward which has encouraged me to reach out to others so they can feel the same way. Wasn’t there a commercial that said Reach out and touch someone?
On the flip side of the coin is when someone asks you if you would like to go see a movie in the afternoon in the middle of the week, SAY YES! Is there a community activity geared towards retirees? SAY YES! I saw a Facebook post where a friend of mines relative had extra symphony tickets that she was not going to be able to use so she was asking if anyone would like the tickets. I did not respond right away I thought it might be more appropriate for someone closer to her than me to be the benefactor of such a generous gift. The next day I noticed no one had commented on her offer, so I hopped on it like a bunny on a carrot. I said YES to the opportunity. When I went to pick up the tickets instead of just 1 set of tickets for one performance, she gave me tickets to 4 separate symphony performances! Oh my gosh! I get to go to the symphony this month, in March, and again in June! It has been so much fun randomly calling friends and inviting them to join me. Sharing is caring.
During the holidays I discovered I had an overabundance of Christmas decorations since moving to a smaller home so rather than take them to Goodwill I decided I would give them away to someone who could use them as well as appreciate them. I have a Facebook friend who moved to my town a couple of years ago. I knew she loved Christmas decorations from her Facebook posts. She also rents space in an antique store in town so I knew if she personally did not want the decorations, she could put them in her space to sell. I messaged her and she was thrilled to take the ornaments off my hands. She then invited me to a little holiday party she was having with just a few friends she had made since she moved here. I said YES and had a wonderful time meeting new people. It also gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling knowing that I could help make her feel she was fitting into her new community.
I believe we have to say YES to life. We must look for opportunities to live our new life to the fullest. Retirement really is what we make it.
